And So I Trust You to Kill Me

And So I Trust
You to Kill Me

Cornered, I beg you
to let me go on my way,
but this is not to be.
There will be no
coming back from this.

My heart wriggles
like a worm on your hook.
It takes everything
in me not to cry out.

Is this how you
question my sincerity
as you go through my things
one by one? I with
no chance to explain.

First, my fears
are realized.
You steal away
photos of my loved ones
even as you
ignore my abject sobs.

I think to put what I prize
out of my mind
but you see through me,
wresting away my friends
as if you’re yanking out weeds.

You drag me by the hair
demanding more;
better, I think, to relinquish
what I can myself.
But there is no time.

You slice open my pockets
and shake my money out,
then steal my shoes
and burn the soles of my feet
with a candle
or is it your fiery breath?

Now with even my livelihood gone
you leave me writhing
in this dark room,
ruined and lonely;
a purloined pauper.

You pry a stick
in my mouth and make me
bite down as you cavalierly
try to empty my mind
of all I cherish.

I stagger to a chair
attempting to hoist myself up
but you tackle me
and pull me back down.

I reach for a rose
but instead am bled
by a stem full of thorns
you’ve wound around
my throat
like a barbed wire.

And then you skin me,
peeling back my hide
until I am bloody
& gross; rubbing acid
in my wounds,
even when you can see
I am still conscious.

Finally, you nail me to
a board in the sun
and watch as
3 speckled black birds
peck at my entrails.

Now you lift my face
so scarred by sorrow,
my brow with the harrow’s mark
a sign for all to see
and you say,
“This I do because I love you.”

And so I trust you to kill me.

Peter Valentyne
January 15th 2011